Wednesday, January 20, 2016

My Sweet Spot

I know, I really ought to write in here more knowing now that I do have an audience of sorts. 3x a week someone asks me for art advice, or for my opinion on something, or bosses me around to apply to this or that, or lectures me on following my dreams. It's an honour really, to be thought of all the time, so highly regarded in something. The fact of the matter is, I spend A LOT of time alone and by myself, just painting. THIS IS the dream! I'M ALREADY HERE. It's where I'm naturally just happiest, and how I do my best work. It took a lot to figure out how to get here but now that I'm here, it's mad fun. My favourite is getting up whenever I want the majority of the week to work on whatever I feel like. Some days are more progressive in the material sense, other days are spent experimenting on things, painting over things, testing out new techniques, changing things and then changing them back again, exploring some new strange idea or feeling (maybe something I picked up from the day before), but no matter what, always leaves me feeling extremely fruitful. I get to make all my own decisions and I can change my mind at any point. It's not always sunshine and rainbows, sometimes it gets nightmarishly lonely, other times it feels insanely unjust, just working all the time and not seeing any payback for months and months and months or anxiety ridden just trying to figure out how and where to store everything, but I love it all anyway. It doesn't really matter whether the whole universe appreciates it or just one human or not a single soul but mine. This is my sweet spot, just being my own boss, right here in my play room.